and a sappy new year
Dec. 31st, 2015 05:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
luckycricket33Thank you
2015 wasn't the easiest or most successful year of my life, but I loved the way I felt through most of it, even through periods of bitterness and deep self-doubt.
I still think it's jumping the gun to call myself an adult now, to put it... optimistically... but I know what one looks like. An adult is someone who takes the train to places they're unfamiliar with without getting someone else to look it up for them. An adult makes plans to meet their friends for dinner, and follows through. An adult orders a graphics tablet off Amazon without asking or telling their parents, using money they earned, dammit. An adult knows when to cede their ground quietly to keep the peace in a group, and knows when to stand up and refuse to sacrifice their own comfort and safety for someone else. That's the kind of person I hope to be (and very soon, since I graduate in 5 months).
Maybe you don't feel like that's you, yet, either, but I wanted to let my mutuals who are older than me know that even if you're not perfect at this stuff, you've shown me that it's possible at all, and you inspire me. To the young beans: I remember you too! And a lot of why I want to be better at this whole "real life" thing is to be strong for you.
To the people who witnessed me freak out about ex-best-friends for months, I want to give a special thanks. You stood by me when I was hung up over someone else leaving me and I don't want you to think that I value you any less than I valued them. And I still do feel that even though I'm not sure I'd want us to go back to being on speaking terms, I don't regret being friends with them for a single second, and I appreciate the good times we had. Anyway, watching me obsess over these relationships that turned sour for so long would be a strain on anyone, and it's not something that I would blame anyone for jumping ship for, so it's just. It's like an extra gift to have you here, you know?
I think of my life with the heady optimism of the people who studied growth theory. Sure we've got the business cycle and frictional unemployment, but look at how standards of living have improved over the decades. The future has always been a bright place for me. I hope to see you there.
2015 wasn't the easiest or most successful year of my life, but I loved the way I felt through most of it, even through periods of bitterness and deep self-doubt.
I still think it's jumping the gun to call myself an adult now, to put it... optimistically... but I know what one looks like. An adult is someone who takes the train to places they're unfamiliar with without getting someone else to look it up for them. An adult makes plans to meet their friends for dinner, and follows through. An adult orders a graphics tablet off Amazon without asking or telling their parents, using money they earned, dammit. An adult knows when to cede their ground quietly to keep the peace in a group, and knows when to stand up and refuse to sacrifice their own comfort and safety for someone else. That's the kind of person I hope to be (and very soon, since I graduate in 5 months).
Maybe you don't feel like that's you, yet, either, but I wanted to let my mutuals who are older than me know that even if you're not perfect at this stuff, you've shown me that it's possible at all, and you inspire me. To the young beans: I remember you too! And a lot of why I want to be better at this whole "real life" thing is to be strong for you.
To the people who witnessed me freak out about ex-best-friends for months, I want to give a special thanks. You stood by me when I was hung up over someone else leaving me and I don't want you to think that I value you any less than I valued them. And I still do feel that even though I'm not sure I'd want us to go back to being on speaking terms, I don't regret being friends with them for a single second, and I appreciate the good times we had. Anyway, watching me obsess over these relationships that turned sour for so long would be a strain on anyone, and it's not something that I would blame anyone for jumping ship for, so it's just. It's like an extra gift to have you here, you know?
I think of my life with the heady optimism of the people who studied growth theory. Sure we've got the business cycle and frictional unemployment, but look at how standards of living have improved over the decades. The future has always been a bright place for me. I hope to see you there.
